


Triumph of the RickRoll

by Caitlin (archetypically)



Category: Never Gonna Give You Up (Music Video)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-24
Updated: 2009-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-05 04:59:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archetypically/pseuds/Caitlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oh noes!  The universe is about to be destroyed!  Can Rick Astley save it with his RickRoll before it's too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Triumph of the RickRoll

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Steelneko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steelneko/gifts).



> Disclaimer: This is a crack!fic, and is completely ridiculous. Originally written for Yuletide Madness, but then the word count grew. Er.

Grimliglook hated the universe. No, not hated, he _despised_ it, every minute atom of it. He hated the stars, he hated the planets, he hated the asteroids… he hated _everything_. It probably wasn't healthy for a mysterious alien being such as himself to go around carrying that much hatred, but he did anyway. That wasn't to say that the doctors didn't warn him, but he hated them too, so it didn't matter.

The Big Bang was the worst thing that ever happened, _ever_, he decided. Everything that resulted from it was wrong, wrong, wrong. There was only one way to rectify this giant, cosmic mistake: to destroy it all, and to create another Big Bang with more pleasant things. Grimliglook cackled with glee and rubbed his large, slimy hands together. Of course, he didn't think about the fact that he'd be destroying himself in the process, but Grimliglook wasn't exactly the brightest supergiant in the universe.

He wanted every possible intelligent life form to know that they were on the brink of destruction. It was more dramatic that way. And so he enslaved some technical geniuses to broadcast a message that the entire universe would see.

"Muahaha," Grimliglook cackled. "Greetings, life forms. You are seeing this message because I'm about to destroy you. I hate you all. Goodbye."

The message could be seen on every screen in the universe, including all over the planet Earth. A mass panic ensued amongst the entirety of the human race. Terrified of the planet's future, top officials called an emergency summit at the United Nations.

"What will we do?" cried the leaders of Earth in helpless hysterics, watching the screens in transfixed horror as Grimliglook's menacing message was played over and over. "We're doomed! There's no one who can save us now!"

A collective silence fell over the conference room in the United Nations as the poor humans accepted their miserable fate.

"Wait!" a voice suddenly piped up, echoing all over the walls and causing the other occupants to turn their heads wildly in search of the source of the sudden noise. A young woman stood resolutely, and all eyes were now fixed on her. "I know who can save us."

"Who?" asked the secretary-general, raising his eyebrows in a most skeptical manner.

The young woman beamed. "Rick Astley! Rick Astley can save us!"

"Rick Astley?" the secretary-general repeated. "Are you sure?"

The woman nodded. "There's no force in the universe more powerful than the RickRoll. If we use it to our advantage while we still have time, there's no way we can be destroyed."

The secretary-general pondered for a few moments. "It's settled, then," he declared officially. "Someone get Rick Astley on the phone. And tell him it's urgent."

Meanwhile, Rick Astley was chilling out on a beach in the Caribbean, and was blissfully ignorant of the fact that the universe was on the brink of destruction. He was just enjoying the nice breeze and the peaceful sunset while sipping on his Bahama Mama that his friend Larry the bartender cooked up for him. Suddenly, his cell phone went off, completely killing the moment.

"Argh, what?" he muttered angrily as he fished around in the pockets of his swim trunks with his free hand for the bloody thing.  
The call was about to go to voicemail when Rick finally answered. "Hello?"

A pause. "Is this Rick Astley?"

"The one and only," Rick replied jovially. "Who is this?"

"This is the UN. Listen, there's, um, a bit of a situation. We need you to, uh, perform. Right away. It's urgent."

Rick raised his eyebrows, though you couldn't really see because they were hidden behind overly large sunglasses. "Urgent… how urgent?"

The UN guy on the other end of the line was slowly growing impatient. "Look, _buddy_, if you don't perform 'Never Gonna Give You Up' right NOW, the whole universe is going to be destroyed! How's that for _urgent_?"

"Great scott!" exclaimed Rick, eyes widening in shock. "I'll get on that right away."

He threw the phone onto the sand and ran for Larry's cabana.

"Larry! LARRY!" Rick shouted.

The bar was cluttered with empty bottles and shot glasses. Larry got off the floor and looked up bleary-eyed from his seventh shot of tequila. "Whassamatter?" he muttered incoherently.

Rick stopped in his tracks and looked at Larry with narrowed eyes. "Have you been getting into my booze again?"

_Hic_. "Nah. Never."

"Never mind, we'll deal with that later. We need to do a RickRoll! RIGHT NOW!"

"Okay," said Larry, in an only half-aware state. He stumbled over to the state-of-the-art stereo system that had no business sitting on a beach but was there anyway, and cranked up the volume.

Rick began to dance in place when he realized something was missing. "Larry! Microphone!"

Larry rushed over as fast as he could, and handed Rick a microphone. "WAHOOOOO, I LOVE RICKROLLS!" he shouted happily, and then fell over face first in the sand. Rick was too busy getting into the groove of the music to notice what had happened to his poor drunk friend.

"We're no strangers to love…"

Grimliglook was picking up something on his sonic radio. He couldn't really tell what it was, but he knew it wasn't something that he particularly enjoyed. He shook his head in annoyance and shut the damn thing off. There was a universe to destroy.

"You know the rules, and so do I…"

The radio turned back on. "What the…?" Grimliglook muttered in total disgust.

"A full commitment's what I'm thinkin' of…"

It finally occurred to Grimliglook just what was coming through the radio. The worst thing that could possibly happen to him on his arduous quest of destruction. A RickRoll, the ultimate unbeatable force. "NOOOOOOO!!" he cried in despair.

"You wouldn't get this from any other guy…"

Grimliglook's machinery all over the universe began to self-destruct. This resulted in a beautiful fireworks display for everyone who happened to be looking up into the sky, no matter what planet they were on, what star they were orbiting, or what galaxy they called home.

"Never gonna give you up… Never gonna let you down…"

By the time the song had hit the first chorus, it was all over. There would be no destruction of the universe today; the RickRoll had seen to that. Grimliglook was furious. He _hated_ Rick Astley, more than he hated anything else that had ever existed. And that's saying a lot.

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" screamed Grimliglook before he blew up into a trillion pieces. History would later refer to this as the Second Big Bang.

The universe united in celebration to the tune of the mighty RickRoll. Every known life form from every known corner of existence gave in to its infectious beat. Rick Astley, already adored by millions, was now a hero for the ages with his musical genius. And that was something they were never gonna give up.


End file.
